ZenGen Retreat Entrepreneur Blog Week 1

My ZenGen Journey 11 January 2025 Today I start my first entrepreneur Journal in the form of a blog. This journal is to track my progress as I build my business. It may sound a little silly to start a journal at this point, as I've already done a business plan, brochures, pricing, etc. But I have found that in all of my preparations, I still feel lacking and unprepared to open my doors. Things have just not fallen into place and I have felt sad. I nearly abandoned my dream this earlier this month because it has been so difficult to find the right location. But after praying hard one day if I should give up and go an easier way, I found a Zillow listing of my dream place. It wasn't in the right area and it was way too much money, but it restored my faith. It was like God gave me a little nudge to remember my dreams and not give up. Funny thing is, I haven't seen it since. Reading through the rather lengthy study material this week, it asked what we are passionate about. What puts us in the zone and we love doing it so much we could do it all daylong. A few years ago, I could have answered that question easily. But today, I find I can no longer answer it. My vision of my life's purpose has changed. God has tweeked my purpose. Creating a retreat is still the goal, however, the purpose behind the retreat has changed. I'm no longer sure how to proceed, and my passion has diminished somewhat. Also, my husband is only partially onboard with the idea. I will need him and our daughter to be fully invested in the big picture. She is down-right angry about moving at the end of her freshman year in high school. Understandable! However, circumstances have changed enough that we no longer have a choice in whether to move or even when to move. The only choice we have now is where... Oh how I wish God would show us the where!The Lord has taken me down paths that seem unrelated, and yet, I know they connect somehow. I just need to find the connection and it will all make sense. It is my hope that this semester will be a turning point for me. That I might gain a more clear perspective on my purpose. So, what do I want? I know what I don't want. I don't want to work to put money in other's pockets. I want to work to put money in my own pocket. I don't want to work for others. I know I like being in charge. I like being the leader.... I have some things to learn about leading kndly. Sometimes I can be overbearing... I don't mean to, but others see me this way. I want to make a change to be kind, appreciative, and generous. I worry I won't know how. I've always tended to be frank... which others interpret as mean. It is difficult for me to say what needs to be said in a gentle way and be understood. The vision of my business looked like this originally: I own a large piece of land, several acres. I build a barn conversion that serves as an events center for healing conferences, weddings, classes like yoga or sound therapy and meditation. There is a chef's kitchen with that opens up so students in the main hall can see an instructor for cooking demonstrations. There are rooms on either side of the main hall. These can be used for holistic practitioners... massage therapy, chiropractic, accupunture, etc. Off the side of the kitchen, there is a dining area with a fireplace in winter and a water fountain in summer and large, lovely windows. The lights are a bit subdued and sitting areas with cozy comfortable chairs and love seats are placed randomly with small coffee tables next to them. Peaceful jazz music plays in the background. One wall has floor to ceiling bookshelves full of books for purchase or just for reading in the lounge. The place is called The Cozy Cocoa Cafe or perhaps Cocoa & Buns, where the specialty is Hot Cocoa (various flavors) and chocolate filled crecent rolls. We would serve several flavors of cocoa including mushroom hot chocolate for those of us who are eating clean. The wellness retreat was to be a sort of collaborative for holistic healers. The cafe could bring in revenue if wellness was not doing so well. There are also several "tiny homes" in clusters with a common area outbuilding. Each tiny home has its own grill and firepit, with chairs to sit around it. These can be rented out as an airbnb for family reunions, or used by our own family when they come to visit. The common buildings have a bath house and dining area, games, etc. Friends or family who are interested may purchase some acreage to build their homes and businesses on, but they all have a similar architecture. This keeps the community uniform. There is a community garden, a large green house, hydroponics, an orchard, and a river or lake with fish. All buildings have solar panels. They are set up to be completely self-sustaining. Recently, however, all of the tools for a wellness center that I had accumalated, were moved out of my place, and all of my clients ended their sessions for various reasons. As I prayed to know why, a vision opened in my mind, and I saw the meaning back of the wellness center... a place of refuge in the last days. Some of the treatment rooms would be stalked with cots, blankets, food, water, and medical supplies. One room would have herbal remedies for illnesses commonly treated with medication. I was told it should be prepared to receive 250 people at a time. I immediately set out to find the place. I felt drawn to Missouri. But I have not yet found it, and I have to leave my apartment by the end of February. The only opportunity that has presented itself is my stepson's home in Virginia which needs a housesitter while they move to Czech Republic for two years for work. The timing doesn't align, however. They won't be leaving till June, leaving us stranded for four months. Also, my daughter is getting married here in August, my mom is ninety-three and in memory care, and I'm the only family taking care of her. Also, prices here in Utah are way too high. We haven't found anything at all in Missouri or Utah. I feel stressed about it, but know that the Lord always has a plan for me. So, I'll wait and believe and trust. Here is another bump in the road... I had it all figured out until the Lord sent me down the path of Genealogy. I felt that I was to shift my focus from the healing arts to Family History. I'm really not sure how that fits in, but I do know that it can be quite healing. I just can't quite make it mesh with the other healing tools. I feel like my focus keeps changing. Is it supposed to be on healing or preparedness or family history? Or do they fit together well, and I'm just missing the big picture? I'll just keep trusting it will fall into place.